This is us.
She’s a chameleon-haired chick who slings pills… He’s an oil-slicked pit jockey under the hood of a car.
Together… THEY FIGHT CRIME!
No, no we don’t. We’re just two food-loving folks from good ol’ Rhode Island. Contrary to popular belief, Rhode Island is neither an island, nor are we part of New York. We’re the “biggest little state in the Union”, as an old ’80’s tourism commercial used to claim.
We met online back in the days when LiveJournal was king of the internet, and we’ve been together since 2001, and married since 2002. We spent a few years living as cellar-dwelling geeks in the Tart’s mom’s basement, and bought ourselves a house in 2014.
Neither of us is a professional cook. However, both of us love to eat.
About The Tart
The tl;dr version: Hair color chameleon, lipstick junkie, eyeshadow addict. Loves to lift weights, and plays entirely too much Skyrim.
Long story mostly short: I’m at an age best described as old enough to know better and too old to care anymore. I am not allowed into Ulta, Sephora, or a thrift store without adult supervision. I like cute clothes and silly toys. I love turtles, and chipmunks, and my bullet journal. I really, really like stuffing.
- Favorite food(s): Yogurt, Special K, Popeyes Chicken, flatbread pizza, anything with Buffalo or alfredo sauce on it
- Least favorite food(s): American chop suey, bell peppers, anything with veggies that sneak up on you, like diced onion or celery, and crunch in your mouth
- Favorite foods to cook: pizza, quesadillas, and baked goods
- Least favorite foods to cook: whole turkey or chicken
- I want to: learn to make some kick ass cake decorations, even if I won’t eat most of it
About The Beard
Mild-mannered 40-ish, married to the greatest and coolest chick in the universe. Freemason, Canadian, proud owner of a beard.
- Favorite Foods: Bacon cheeseburgers, pineapple and ham pizza, roast turkey
- Least favorite foods: mushrooms, and mushroom acessories
- Favorite foods to cook: Homemade pasta, slow-cooker chicken and stuffing
- Least favorite foods to cook: haven’t found anything yet
- I want to: deep fry things, we don’t have the gear to do it